Must Give Up or Fight

I have reached a personal limit tonight.  I need to vent.  This is it.  

Tonight, I hit the wall….or more accurately, the wall hit me.  Many of you may have noticed that I haven’t been online much lately.  Part of this is due to my childrens’ activities….which I am perfectly happy with.  I try to either go to things to support them, or watch the other kids while my wife supports them. 

Unfortunately, much of my recent absence has been due to the fact that I have been working a shit load lately.  Seems like every freakin night I am firing up the work computer, double-clicking on its VPN software, and working. 

Why do I do this?  Because every damn day seems to be consumed with trying to either defend the work me and my team do against attacks from various areas within my department, or trying to get our customers to do what is right and stay within our rules in order to keep the people mentioned previously off our backs.  Either way, I have been going home everyday with nothing to show for my 8 hours except a lot of frustration.

Tonight, as I began the same ritual something clicked or snapped inside of me.  I started up the computer, fired up VPN, opened Outlook, then walked over to get a drink out of the fridge.  When I came back I saw three emails from people complaining, another hammering on me for no reason, and a link to stories about how great everything is in my department.

I just stared at the screen for about 15 minutes.  Then, hit reply on the first complaining email, stared again for 15 minutes, closed Outlook, logged off the PC, put it away, and started thinking. 

I continue to spend 8+ hours a day away from my home, away from my family, and away from my real life to take this crap.  The usually spend 3 hours at night, and 3-4 hours on Saturdays, and 3+ hours on Sundays working.  Why?  Because I am the bread winner of the family.  Because I am comfortable in a routine.  Because I don’t think I have any options. 

Correct Answer: all of the above.

So, as I type this I am at a fork in the road.  One path says, keep hammering away, find ways to make work less consuming, and come to grips with my career.  The other path says, get off my lazy ass and do something about this problem….even if it is something that kicks me out of my comfort zone.  Life is way too short to stay in a situation like this. 

Either way, I must find a way to spend more time with my family and do more for myself.   

Hell, my oldest kid will be a senior next year.  Time is moving on whether I am home or at work.  And I get to work out probably once every three weeks. 

So, as I sit here at 12:30 in the morning I shake my head and wonder what I will do.  Will I even do anything???  I was pretty sure an hour ago when I saw those emails that I would.  Now, after typing, backspacing, and retyping for an hour I’m not sure.

Think I will sleep on it. 

Filed under: Uncategorized , frustration, work

Technical Arrogance

My job has me in a unique position.  I am supposed to help enable end users…enable them to create their own applications.  These are applications that the formal IT department either doesn’t have the time to address, or they are applications that the Corporate departments determined to be not be as important as others.

Of course, to the user who is being asked to do more by their leadership, a little app that may automate some goofy time consuming task they do frequently is important.  It could help them get a better year end review….it could help them get all their work done for the day so they can go home with a little less stress.  Who says that isn’t important?

So, why bring this up?  Well, over the last few days I have been in several meetings which are also attended by technical people directly responsible for work on “the critical business apps”.  That, in itself is not the problem.  The problem is when these people decide to snicker, laugh, and make degrading comments about the applications the end users are writing. 

They talk about how those simplistic approaches (used by the end users) are a joke.

Give me a freakin break.  Yes, the users typically leverage much leaner technologies than the enterprise efforts.  Yes, they usually wear the hats of requirements gatherer, UI designer, coder, tester, and implementer.  Yes, their style would not hold up on a multi-year massive project.  But guess what…..they never said it would. 

As I sat in a meeting the other day and listened to one of these experts rail on one of the end user applications, I was striken with the technical arrogance/insecurity this “techie” had.  Have the experts elevated themselves so far from the ground-floor details that they are no longer in touch with the true goal in all our work???  Aren’t we all simply trying to help our company be more successful? 

Who the hell cares if someone in Ad Services used Access to create a tool instead of a Java or C++ n-tier solution.  Should we not praise the person for their ingenuity and desire to help make things more efficient? 

Yes, there is always the risk that the app will grow beyond what the developer or the tool can handle.  And, yes, they will likely come to IT for help.  So what?  Doing business is a risk.  Being successful requires risk taking.  The person/people who started the company understood this. 

Unfortunately, I think those of us who are now removed from those risk takers are too content to spend a large portion of our time debating the merits of one technology over another.   We should be reaching out to the end users….the ones who are doing that day-to-day work that keeps the company’s wheels on….and understanding their position better.  Understand what they are trying to accomplish.

And most of all, try to reach back into your past, and remember when solving problems was a source of personal reward.  Remember the thrill of innovation.

Filed under: end users, programming

Lost But Not Forgotten

Dang, it has been a long time since I posted something here.  Life has been keeping me busy.

I had every intention of experimenting with various Linux desktop distros….seeing how far they had evolved, how user-friendly they really are, and how practical it would be to use it as my primary OS.

Unfortunately, my limited free time has not permitted me to take the necessary time to do this.  So, this idea is shelved…..for now.  I will come back, down the road.

So, I hope to start blogging back here (maybe as soon as this weekend). 

Filed under: lazy

Exploring The Penguin

First off, I am very happy with my Windows PC.  Running XP Pro, I have very few problems with it.  I know Windows takes a beating for the reboots, the security issues, the cost, etc.  However, the bottom line for me is….can I get my work done easily and can I do the things I want to do without the computer getting into my way?  The computer is supposed to be there to help….not to cause headaches.  And I have been fine with my PC.

Now, for a contradiction….I love playing with new software.  I love trying out stuff.  As a result, I frequently load software onto my PC that is  less than “production”.  For someone who doesn’t like the computer to be unreliable or a headache, this would seem to be a goofy thing to do.  Yes, it is.

My desire to try out new things has brought me to trying out Linux desktops.  The idea of a free desktop operating system…one that can be readily downloaded, that has lots of cool software built into it…..one that “just works” when I install it is very interesting.  I know of many situations where an OS like this is perfect. 

With all this in mind, I begin a personal evaluation of the different Linux distros.  A personal review of the operating systems from a user and slightly skilled user’s perspective.  It is NOT a review of them with an agenda in my pocket…or a desire to dupe anyone.  I don’t want to have to know shell commands, or special configuration files to make something work. 

NOTES 

1. For now, I am not going down the Apple path.  That look is definitely down the road….but for now, I will be looking at completely free options.  Ones that can be easily executed on my equipment.
2. I will be testing options in either a virtual machine or as Live CD’s (bootable CDs).  Later on, if I find something I really like, I may set my machine up as a dual boot.
3. I will be looking at the OS as well as software I consider critical (email, internet browser, spreadsheet, CD/DVD player, etc)

So far, I have the following OS’s on my list.  If anyone who reads this has other suggestions, I am very interested in them.  Please post your thoughts.

Linus OS’s I will be trying

• Freespire
• Ubuntu
• MEPIS
• Xandros
• Mandriva
• PCLinuxOS
• OpenSUSE
• Fedora

As I said, there is no hidden agenda to paint something as more than it is….or a desire to pan it because I have a Windows prejudice.  Also, since I have no beef with Microsoft, this is not a desire to hammer at them.  Finally, although I can usually feel pretty comfortable opening up command windows and firing off things, I do not want to do this.  I want this review to be one that is from a true user’s perspective.  I know what it takes to load XP on a standard machine and get going with it….I want to know the same for these.

So, if you are interested, feel free to stop by over the next few weeks and see how this goes.  And feel free to post your thoughts and opinions.

Filed under: Linux, OS, penguin

How About A Little Love

The following post is likely to be construed as treason by a lot of different groups.  However, here it goes……

 I Like Microsoft Office 2007!

 There, I said it.  I feel much better now. 

Yes, I know, Microsoft is evil.  Yes, I know Office isn’t a true “development platform”.  Yes, I know all this.  However, because of several serious personality flaws, I like it.  The overriding flaw is….I am horribly lazy.  When I am approached to help someone with a problem, they usually say something like…”Can Excel do this?  I am really good at using Excel.”

I know many who take a comment like this as an insult.  “How dare a non-techie suggest I use an inferior, non-OO tool for app dev.  They will take what I give them.   Office….hmmph!”

I, on the other hand, think it is extremely smart to give someone a solution using a tool they understand and feel comfortable with.  Allows me to help them…and move on.  Cool.  They don’t call me every time they need a new chart, or report, or a mail merge.  Not bad.  Sure, I may miss out on some extra $$$ for these tasks.  But, in the end, people like the idea I deliver apps to them in a way they can use and extend, that they ask me to do more for them.  Really cool.

I have used Office for many, many years.  However, once Microsoft starting dropping VBA into all of the tools (except that damn Outlook) I started seeing some opportunities.  Access, Excel, and Word…with some Outlook automation…can get you pretty far in the world of small-scale apps for small groups or individuals. 

I know….Office apps aren’t scaleable….they can promote poor development practices…yah yah yah.  But, in these situations, those aren’t compelling arguments.  At least not to me or the office clerk who just wants “their Excel” to do something that takes them a couple hours every week.

I just recently installed Office 2007.  Unlike many of the previous version of Office, this one has some compelling reasons to upgrade.  The UI for most of the core apps has undergone a significant facelift (much overdue), and the new default file format is XML…not the old binary format. 

I haven’t tried tweaking the new UI ribbons much yet….but have played around quite a bit with the new XML file format.  Having followed along with some online labs….I have to say the new formats are a tremendous improvement in terms of programatic manipulation.  I know, this is nothing a user should or would see….but this is such a cool improvement for someone developing with the tools.

As I started this post….so I will finish it…. I know Office is expensive.  I know Office is a huge, fat client app.  I know there are “free” alternatives.  But MS Office is the bread and butter of  almost everyone I help.  And I do think it is something Microsoft done well with this version.

Footnotes:  No, I do not work for Microsoft.  No, I have never been paid to post about Microsoft.  Yes, I am a dork.

Filed under: MS Office, Tools, programming

The Passion Of Programming

I know this title sounds ultra-geeky.  But this post is a retrospect on how cool it used to feel to write computer programs.  Like most things in life, time (along with other things) wears down the enthusiasms associated with things you love to do. 

For me, I can remember sitting in front of a Commodore 64 thinking up cool things to program.  Writing programs that Poked/Peeked places on the monitor….that manipulated the cassette player input drive.  Then getting a modem and actually connecting to CompuServe.  Unbelievable.

In high school we had a TRS-80.  We learned BASIC…and played a lot of Lunar Lander.  That was a program where you tried to land on the moon, controlling thrust and descent.  No real graphics….but it sure was fun.

Then, in the early and mid 80’s learning Pascal, C, Data Structures, Assembler, Fortran, and BASIC.  It was still an incredible rush to figure out those oddball assignments like using recursion to simulate parking cars on the street.  Then, one semester, we had to write our own compiler.  Everyone was assigned to a team of three.  My two partners were more interested in checking out the closest bar than writing the compiler.  At the time I could not understand it.  So, I wrote the compiler.  How could anyone not want to solve this problem quickly???  A valuable lesson in life was learned.

Then, after graduation, came the hunt for a job.  This is where I started to lose that enthusiasm.  Each rejection letter seemed to take a little more out of me.  Finally, I landed a cool job with a good company.  I was sure I would enjoy this.

 Another lesson hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had to go to meetings?  Fill out deliverable documents???  Only 25% of the time was spent programming?  Wait a second.  Then, over the years that 25% was whittled down to 20%, 18%, 10%, to now around 5%.  For, you see, the skill of programming is not the highly valued skill it used to be.  It has been commoditized.  All development must be done according to strict rules and guidelines.  The personal reward and gratification derived by the creativity and innovation has been almost completely stripped out.

This isn’t limited to a few companies.  It is more and more common. 

Yes, I know, I sound like a spoiled baby.  “You still get paid a nice salary.  If you don’t like it, leave.”  I would….but with a family rooted in the area, that isn’t easy.  And I really do like the company I work for….just wish I still had the passion I used to have.

I try to stay atune to programming by writing tools at home, as well as helping organizations and clubs who have purchased computers but need help realizing their true value.  Helping people like that does give me a boost.  There are some incredibly cool technologies now that make computer programming really interesting.  Those keep me pumped, too.

Maybe it doesn’t have to do with programming at all.  Maybe I just don’t want to grow up any more.  I want to be that kid again. 

Maybe I should go to ebay and start looking for a Commodore.

Filed under: programming

APL – Look Ma, No Words

For several years I helped support the APL2 programming language at my company.  For anyone who is unfamiliar with APL, which stands for A Programming Language, is strongest when used to solve problems related to math, science, engineering, data visualization, actuarial science, etc.  One of its strengths is that is manages data in matrices, and provides many native functions that manipulate these objects directly. 

APL was invented by a Kenneth E. Iverson in 1957.  To quote Homer Simpson, the man is SMRT.

 APL has some very interactive qualities, which makes it great for quick trial/error development.  The true uniqueness of APL is the fact that it uses a completely unique notation as its “language”.   When I supported APL, I had to have a completely different keyboard and keyboard map that allowed me to write the code.

For example, here is a sample of APL code:

 

Pretty cool, eh?

While I was never a true APL guru (many mathematicians I worked with were true power users) I was able to create some very robust applications rapidly.  With its inherent support for matrices, it had a very strong relationship with relational data.  Of course, I pity anyone who picks up an APL program and, without comments or doc or experience, tries to figure out what those arrows and dots really do.

I think this quote really sums up APL well:

“APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.” Edsger Dijkstra, 1968

Filed under: Languages, Past Work

A Word Or Two About AMIATTTW

I have worked in the IT industry for almost 25 years.  I have seen a lot….and have enjoyed the entire trip.  I have always wanted to have a way to capture and share my thoughts on technology (past/present/near future) injecting a little humor along the way.

This blog will be my outlet.  In the coming weeks and months I will be looking back at some of the cool stuff I have had the opportunity to work with….as well as talk about technologies I think are cool today.

Welcome to my mind 

Filed under: Intro